I hate my job

I think I have only posted the funny stories, the ones that are really worth telling. I don't think I get on here and tell the whole truth about how crummy my job really is. It is a frustrating, unbearable nightmare of a workng environment, where noone can make a decision and when you step up and do make one it is criticized to death. It's not that I'm having a bad day or week or month, it's that I have a bad job. Even before I was a supervisor, I hated it. I thought maybe I needed a change of pace. And I was doing okay for awhile. But at some point, I have to ocunt the number of nights a week my job makes me cry, and I have to account for how ever fiber of my being resists me putting on the uniform and getting in the car. Maybe if I had a weeks vacation, I could calm down and survive a bit longer. But noone will pick up my shifts. Noone. I'm now trying to decide between going part time and finding another job. The AZ Senate had a Constituent Service job posted, but I found it three days past the deadline for applying and have received no replies to my inquiry about whether the job is stil available. It would have been perfect.

Free flights is a great benefit, but its so not worth it if I can't get the time off to fly anywhere, or if working makes me sick with how bad I don't want to be there. Really, I am not in a good mental space right now when it comes to work. I just can't stand the thought that I have to go back to that place again tomorrow. And for three more days in a row after that. Oh, and my buddy bidder bailed, so now I don't have off for a friend's wedding in two weeks. It just sucks and I'm not sure I can do this job much longer. It's so frustrating to be doing everything right and still have people yelling at me. All week, every agent around me has said "You did everything right, you were nicer than I would have been!" and still I'm constantly yelled at by every jerk in the place. Every guy who can't tell time, didn't run fast enough or just wants a free ride and thinks he can get it by yelling louder. It's too stressful for me. I don't enjoy time with my husband anymore because all I can think about is how bad I don't wanna go back and how useless my job is. If I left, noone would care. Some other newby would step up and be the one to get cursed at all day. People in this world have no concept of human decency, self-discipline or self-responsibility. If the rest of the real world is anything like what I've experienced at the airport, I'm so ready to curl up in a ball in my bedroom and not come out again.

P.S. Mom- consider this fair warning that flight benefits are subject to change. ;-) I am officially job hunting elsewhere.